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Another year around the sun. What a year it’s been Another year around the sun. What a year it’s been. A mixed amount of highs and lows below. No glossy pretend over here: 🎈Qualified as DISC Licensed Trainer 🎈 Delivered my Hidden High Performer workshop into Virgin Media 02 🎈 Discovered a lump in my armpit (full panic mode activated) got checked out and had the all clear 🎈Struggled with my peri meno symptoms more than ever but grateful for my overall health 🎈Coached more managers than I’ve coached before 🎈Did some deep deep research on Adverse Childhood Experiences 🎈Fell over badly on a run and bruised my rib 🎈Saw my besties renew their wedding vows and read a poem at their “wedding” 🎈Walked 25 miles for @nacoauk and raised £535 for them 🎈Joined the Mic Drop community to build the public speaking confidence up And probably so so much more. Here’s to FORTY BLAH BLAH 😆
Subsidised coaching is back!! 🎉 I’m so pleased to Subsidised coaching is back!! 🎉 I’m so pleased to be able to say that. Thanks to funding from @mindbodybalanceacademy , I can offer coaching sessions at £25 each. If you’ve been curious about coaching but the cost has always put you off, now’s a really good time to look into it. Funding is limited though, so there are only so many spaces and when they’re gone they’re gone. Not a marketing ploy. Carrie-Ann has only secured so much. If you’re thinking “but what actually is coaching?” or “would it even help someone like me?”... those are fab questions, and loads of people ask them. So Carrie Ann and I are going live on Friday 23rd October at 12.30pm to talk it all through. Come along, ask whatever you like and see if it feels right for you. Can’t make the live? Send me a DM and we can have a chat. What would you want to ask a coach? Pop it in the comments and I’ll make sure we cover it on Friday 💛 #coaching #subsidisedcoaching #ACOA
It’s official... I’m now a licensed DISC trainer 🎉 It’s official... I’m now a licensed DISC trainer 🎉 Thank you @sharon_lawton_coach and @coachingacademy for such incredible training. It challenged me and stretched me in all the right places. Something that really stuck with me is that DISC is never about putting people in boxes. So much shapes who we are... the people who raised us, school, our culture, the things that happen to us along the way. Nobody is just a “D” or an “S”. While I was learning, I kept thinking about those of us who grew up around addiction. So often the way we work started long before our first job. What I notice with each style when there’s some history behind it... 🔴 D: often the one who stepped up because nobody else at home would. Gets stuff done, but letting go of control? Really hard. 🟡 I: the one who keeps the mood up. Some of us learnt early that if everyone was laughing, things were less likely to kick off. Brilliant at hiding when we’re struggling. 🟢 S: the peacekeeper. Loyal, reliable, never says no... and ends up carrying everyone’s workload. (Hi, it’s me 🙋‍♀️) 🔵 C: spots the mistake nobody else saw. For some, getting everything right felt like the way to stay safe, so it tips into over-checking and a real fear of getting it wrong. Which one feels familiar? Tell me in the comments 👇 Follow for more on growing up around addiction and how it shows up at work 🔔 #ACOA #AdultChildrenOfAlcoholics #DISC #ChildhoodAdversity #TraumaInformedCoach
It’s back!! Low fee coaching is back, thanks to @m It’s back!! Low fee coaching is back, thanks to @mindbodybalanceacademy @carrie_annstevens . Spaces become available in October. Get in touch 🫶🏽
Myself and Martin @coasaresuperheroes are organisi Myself and Martin @coasaresuperheroes are organising a walk around Regents Park on October 17th at 10:30AM. This is for anyone connected to @nacoauk or who identifies as the Adult Child of an Alcoholic (ACoA). Earlier this year we were part of large group of other ACoAs and Nacoa UK volunteers raising money for the charity. We walked 24 miles around The Lake District and raised over £26K. My large toenail still hasn’t recovered. We were all blown away by the conversations and friendships made on that day and we thought it would be nice to join forces again. Less jelly sweets and blister patches, more croissants and a stroll this time. It will be a relaxed morning to grab a hot drink, walk around Regents Park and then on for lunch, if people feel like it! Send me a DM if you are interested or comment below. (weather permitting)
I have been waiting for 1 night with Gabor for a y I have been waiting for 1 night with Gabor for a year…. I booked these tickets yonks ago and then the event got rescheduled and I’ve been waiting patiently ever since. Is it odd to be this excited about a night out that’s entirely about trauma? We are set to learn 🎉 🤓 How modern lifestyles contribute to chronic stress and internal conflict 🤓 How long-term emotional suppression can shape behaviour and health 🤓 Insights into the mind-body connection and how awareness can foster well-being 🤓 A framework for building emotional resilience and insight in everyday life Anyone else going? Say hello if you are… 🔔 Follow if this work speaks to you. Whether you lived it, lead people who did, or both. #TraumaInformed #GaborMate #Coaching
The new Traumality film was released this week and The new Traumality film was released this week and while I haven’t managed to watch it YET, the trailer got me all fired up about the state of mental health services around the world. Trauma is happening all around us. Right now. Today. Whether it’s a mother coming home after a traumatic birth, or an adult still carrying what happened to them as a child, it’s there in far more lives than we care to admit. It seems even those services we go to for help like GPs don’t know what to do for the best. I think the mental health landscape is shifting. Do I believe it’ll change as much as I’d like it to? Probably not. There’s too much cash to be made dishing out pills to people. Slowly, I’m seeing topics like this being talked about on bigger and bigger platforms. Sadly, this film didn’t get funding. Ton Mazzone funded it himself and it took him 4 years to finish it. That’s some drive and determination 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 We are talking about childhood trauma more than we ever have. Yet the cycle is still repeating. That’s the urgency I feel. That’s why the conversation can’t be allowed to go quiet. The ripple effects of the trauma happening today will run for decades. A future leader, twenty years from now, will be managing someone in their team who is still carrying it. A police officer will be dealing with the fallout of it on a Friday night. And someone, on a tenth date, will finally hear the secret their partner has held since childhood, and have to decide what to do with it. This is the work I want to keep doing, and keep talking about. On podcasts, on stages, in workshops, anywhere people are ready to look at it honestly. Because every time we say it out loud, we make it a little more possible for someone to break the cycle instead of passing it on. Update will follow once I’ve managed to watch it!! @tonmazzone - thank you for bringing this to us!! 🔔 Follow if this work speaks to you. Whether you lived it, lead people who did, or both.
I’ve written something new 🖊️ It’s about the perso I’ve written something new 🖊️ It’s about the person every workplace relies on. You know the one: 👉 Capable. 👉 Calm when everyone else is losing it. 👉 Spots the problem three steps early and has usually fixed it before it lands on anyone’s desk. 👉 They rarely complain and almost never asks for help. What most people don’t know is where all of that often comes from. A lot of high achievers grew up in homes affected by addiction. And the very traits that make them so good at their jobs are the same skills they built as children to stay safe. Reading the room. Anticipating trouble. Being useful. On the surface or on a CV it looks like drive. Underneath, it’s often something quieter, and more costly. I write about what the patterns looks like, why these are some of your highest-potential people, and what changes when someone finally understands where the drive comes from. Blog is on my website but to really stay connected join my newsletter via freebie in my bio: https://francoiseoliviercoaching.com/why-adults-from-homes-affected-by-addiction-can-become-high-achievers/ 🔔 Follow if this work speaks to you. Whether you lived it, lead people who did, or both.
How’s your B** S*** detector? If you grew up arou How’s your B** S*** detector? If you grew up around addiction like me, I’m guessing the needle’s pretty far over. There’s a fascinating piece of research from the 1960s, by a psychologist called Albert Mehrabian. He found that when the words someone says and the signals they’re giving off don’t match, we stop trusting the words. We read the face. We read the tone. The gap between what someone says and what they mean, that’s where the truth leaks out. Some people are good at noticing this, others aren’t. Some of us learned this skill before we could tie our shoelaces. If your parents behaviour was unpredictable, maybe you didn’t learn to read a smile, you learned to read the mismatch. The “I’m fine” that was anything but. The cheerful voice but with pain in the eyes. You got fluent in the distance between what was said and what was actually going on. Nobody puts that skill on a CV. But it’s one of the most sophisticated communication skills a person can have. It’s why so many people from homes affected by addiction end up being the one others come to. 👉 The manager who knows a team member is struggling before they say a word. 👉The colleague who can feel a meeting curdle three sentences before anyone admits it. 👉The friend who always seems to just know. If it’s you, you’re not imagining it. You genuinely pick up what other people miss. The work, and it is work, is learning to trust it as a gift. But make no mistake. It’s a skill, and the world needs people who can hear what 𝘪𝘴𝘯’𝘵 being said. So, how’s your BS detector? 🔔 Follow if this work speaks to you. Whether you lived it, lead people who did, or both
ADDICTION THRIVES IN SILENCE. But it’s out there ADDICTION THRIVES IN SILENCE. But it’s out there in our streets, homes, parent groups, teams. There’s a landmark report out this week on the state of addiction in the UK, and the numbers are 😳 An estimated: 👉🏽 750,000 people addicted to alcohol. 👉🏽 400,000 to illegal drugs. 👉🏽 275,000 to gambling. It puts us above the global average for drug addiction. And the death toll? Around 17,000 people are thought to have died from drug or alcohol related causes last year, and the report says the real number is likely higher, because it isn’t always recorded. The report, by The Forward Trust and Crest Advisory, is calling for a complete reboot of how this country handles addiction. And it’s rightly about the people caught in it. But I keep thinking about the ones who aren’t in any of these figures. 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙣. Take that 750,000 addicted to alcohol. Most of them aren’t living alone. There are kids in those homes. We know from @nacoauk research that those children are: 💙 Six times as likely to witness domestic violence 💙 Five times as likely to develop an eating problem 💙 Three times as likely to consider suicide 💙 Twice as likely to struggle at school 💙 Twice as likely to develop an addiction themselves 💙 Twice as likely to be in trouble with the police This is the hidden cost…. Every family left without support is quietly raising someone who’ll carry it for the next thirty years. Into their relationships. Into their teams. Maybe even down to the next generation, and the cycle begins again. I work with those grown up children. Addiction is never just one person’s problem. It’s a whole family. Often a whole childhood. If we’re going to rethink how this country handles it, I really hope the children in those homes are part of the conversation. Link to the report in the comments 🔔 Follow if this work speaks to you. Whether you lived it, lead people who did, or both.
Right. I’ve made something and I’m a bit nervous t Right. I’ve made something and I’m a bit nervous to share it. I’ve been building a free tool for people who grew up around addiction or adversity. It takes a pattern you’ve always seen as a problem and shows you the strength sitting underneath it. Ten minutes, completely free, and hopefully a bit of a lightbulb moment. It’s like having me in your pocket, there when something happens at work and you need a little coaching to get through it. Who wouldn’t want that? I’ve even been using it myself, and I’m impressed, even if I say so myself 😀. Here’s what I’ve noticed working with my clients. The traits they carry into work, the overworking, the people-pleasing, the fear of getting it wrong, they see them as flaws. Things to fix. I see them as adaptations. Underneath every one of those patterns is a genuine strength that’s just been stuck at the wrong volume. I’m thinking of sharing the tool next week, but I want to make sure it’s really valuable first. I know how sensitive this subject is. So if you’d like to help test it, send me a DM. And I’d love to know, whether you test it or not: if you grew up around adversity, what’s a strength you have at work that you reckon came from those early years? My DMs are always open #AdverseChildhoodExperiences #Coaching #HiddenHighPerformer
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