What is ACOA coaching?

ACOA coaching is coaching specifically for adults who grew up with a parent affected by alcohol or addiction. It’s built around the patterns that tend to show up later in life for people from these backgrounds: over-giving, difficulty making decisions, a heightened stress response around authority figures, and a nervous system that’s used to scanning for danger long after the danger has gone. Unlike general life coaching, an ACOA coach already understands this territory, so you’re not spending your first few sessions explaining the basics of what it was like.

How does growing up with an alcoholic or addicted parent affect you as an adult?

It shows up in ways that often doesn’t look like “trauma” from the outside. People-pleasing. Struggling to trust that good things will last. Over-functioning at work while feeling like you’re never quite doing enough. Difficulty asking for help, because as a child, asking for what you needed didn’t get you anywhere. These aren’t flaws. They’re adaptations that made sense at the time and now need updating for the adult life you’re actually living.

What’s the difference between ACOA coaching and therapy?

Coaching and therapy can complement each other but they’re not the same thing. Therapy tends to focus on processing the past. Coaching is more forward-facing: it works with where you are now and where you want to get to, using practical tools and structured conversation. Good ACOA coaching is trauma-informed, meaning it’s done with an understanding of how early adversity shapes the nervous system, but it isn’t a substitute for therapy if that’s what you need. Many people find the two work well side by side.

How do I know if I’m an adult child of an alcoholic?

If you grew up with a parent whose drinking (or other addiction) was unpredictable, caused chaos, or meant you had to manage your own needs earlier than most children do, you likely fit. Common signs in adulthood include over-giving in relationships and at work, discomfort with authority figures, a tendency to overthink decisions, and a low-grade sense that something might go wrong even when things are fine. If a lot of this sounds familiar, it’s worth exploring further.

What does an ACOA coach actually do in sessions?

Sessions are a mix of structured conversation and practical tools, tailored to what you bring each week. Expect to be asked real questions rather than given generic advice, space to think out loud without being rushed, and frameworks (drawn from NLP, cognitive behavioural coaching, and trauma-informed practice) to help you understand your own patterns and start shifting them. Sessions can happen over Zoom or in person in London, including walking sessions in the park for people who think better on their feet.

Is ACOA coaching only for people who are currently struggling?

No. Plenty of people who come to ACOA coaching are, by most measures, doing well. Successful career, stable life on the outside. What brings them to coaching is usually a quieter feeling underneath all that: exhaustion from constantly managing things, difficulty trusting good moments to last, or a sense of never quite switching off. Coaching works well for people who want to understand why they operate the way they do, not just people in crisis.

How long does ACOA coaching take to see change?

This varies person to person, but most clients start noticing shifts in how they think about a situation within the first few sessions, and more concrete behavioural change over a few months of regular sessions. Coaching isn’t usually a quick fix and isn’t meant to be. It’s a process of gradually updating patterns that took years to form.

What qualifications does an ACOA coach need?

Look for ICF accreditation (the International Coaching Federation is the recognised body for professional coaching standards), specific trauma-informed training, and ideally lived understanding of what growing up around addiction actually involves. Françoise holds an ICF ACC credential, an ICF, EMCC and AC accredited Diploma in Transformative Coaching, and trauma-awareness training, alongside her own experience as a child of an alcoholic